I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
