Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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