"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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