So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
