im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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