What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
