Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize