Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize