if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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