im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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