I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
