the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
