All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
