GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
