he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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