Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
