i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
