If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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