Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
