I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
