playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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