Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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