yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize