Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
