it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
