what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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