everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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