yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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