What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
