Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize