Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Randomize
