it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
