she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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