my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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