Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
