Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There are leaves in my underwear?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize