it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
