Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
