Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize