im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
