So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
