god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
