part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
