please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
