I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
