OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
