He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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