Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So squirting runs in the family.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
