I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize