OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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