worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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