JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
