rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
