So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
