My hand turned me down
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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