just come out here and I will go home with you...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize