I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
