your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
