We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
