Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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