I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Can you bring me the toilet please
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
