I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Boobs speak an international language.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Two words: nipple clamps
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