either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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