so that wasnt chicken after all
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
