Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
