there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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