This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
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